


Cause for Concern

by Sarah1281



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Canon Compliant, Humor, much like the musical, no attempt made to actually sound like they talked back then
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-28
Updated: 2015-11-28
Packaged: 2018-05-03 21:15:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5307122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sarah1281/pseuds/Sarah1281
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Madison tries to explain Hamilton to Jefferson. It's just something one has to experience for themselves and Jefferson doesn't quite know what he's getting himself into.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cause for Concern

Jefferson’s state of being could best be described as being triumphantly confused. Or perhaps confusedly triumphant. Now, a part of that was alright. In fact, a part of that was the fucking ideal. 

The rest of it, though, was a problem. 

“Uh, what was that?” he asked. 

Madison sighed and ran a hand over his face. “That was Treasury Secretary Alexander Hamilton. I tried to warn you.” 

“I don’t think there is any amount of warning in the world that would be enough,” he said. That was NOT the man Angelica had described. “I go in there doing quite a nice job of seeming like I spent more than ten minutes preparing for this-”

“I mean, you did quote yourself,” Madison pointed out. 

“So? Everyone else quotes me all the damn time,” Jefferson said. “I came up with it! Why should they get to quote me and not me?” 

“No, I mean, you can but it’s a little weird,” Madison said. “Maybe a sign you could have put more thought into it. But, in a way, the fact you blew everyone away while only spending ten minutes on this might be more impressive than if you put the sixty hours I’m sure Hamilton put into this in.” 

“What is even with that guy?” Jefferson demanded. “I just got back from France, just came in from Virginia, just wanted to give my thoughts on Hamilton’s plan during our debate. I think I kept it very professional. And then he comes in and accuses me of being behind the times and launching ad hominem attacks because I happen to own slaves. He’s probably not even rich enough to afford his own. An immigrant, right, even if he did marry into the Schuylers. And then going after me because I was too busy being in the Virginia House of Delegates and then the governor to go hold a musket like any idiot could do? And I heard Hamilton didn’t even have a command until literally Yorktown. He spent most of the war being Washington’s glorified secretary. And then passing off my extremely important role as ambassador to France? Please, that was so important they sent Franklin there, too. And was it just me or did it sound like he was implying I get up to some kind of drug orgy back home?” 

“No, that was definitely the impression I got, too,” Madison said. “He probably would have said it, too, if Washington weren’t there.” 

“I hate him,” Jefferson said. “I don’t think I have ever hated anyone half as much as I hate him.” 

“He does have that effect on people,” Madison said. “Not most people but enough.” 

“Why did he have to start in on the personal attacks? Literally the first thing he said to me, after the introduction, was an attack! I know we disagreed but for fuck’s sake, the man went from introducing himself to threatening to shove a shoe up my ass in ten minutes flat.” 

“Efficiency has always been one of his strengths,” Madison said. “Aaron Burr gets a little hysterical sometimes talking about it. They used to work together.” 

“Who?” 

“New York’s Attorney General,” Madison said. “You’ll meet him.” 

“This wasn’t a personal issue, though,” Jefferson said. “We were just disagreeing about the size of the government.” 

“Every issue is a personal issue with Hamilton,” Madison said. “He has a very hard time separating the personal from the political. And he’s very excitable.” 

Jefferson made a face. “So this kind of thing is going to keep on happening then?” 

“Probably,” Madison agreed. “He really seems to dislike you, too.” 

“Why did you go after you, though?” Jefferson asked. “You weren’t even the one arguing with him.” 

“Well I’ve been the one arguing with him before you showed up,” Madison said. “And remember when I said he takes everything extremely personally?” 

“Go on,” Jefferson said, intrigued. 

“We’ve recently had a bit of a falling out.” 

“Wait, wait, wait, you and that-that jumped up immigrant used to be friends?” Jefferson couldn’t believe it. 

Madison frowned. “Well, friend isn’t really a word I want to use right now. But we did work together.” 

“And he’s mad that…what? You dare to have a different opinion now?” 

“It’s a bit more complicated than that,” Madison hedged. “You really do need to keep better track of these things, Thomas.” 

Jefferson threw his hands up in the air. “I’ve been in France. So sue me. So what happened?” 

“The problem is that, until recently, we might have been a bit more in line on this particular issue than we are now,” Madison said. “I maintain that any transition on my part is perfectly organic but he’s acting like I’ve been replaced by my evil twin or something.” 

Jefferson gave him a horrified look. “You were actually on board with this sovereignty-stealing bullshit?” 

“No, of course not! It’s just-” Madison broke off as paper glider flew right in front of him. 

“Uh…what?” 

“It’s probably from Hamilton,” Madison said, catching the paper and unfolding it. 

“How do you know?” Jefferson asked. “And why would Hamilton throw paper at you?” 

“Can you think of anyone else?” Madison said. “And we’re not currently speaking.” 

“Why not?” 

“Well, I’m not speaking to him,” Madison corrected. “He won’t stop trying to convince me to side with him again out of sheer desperation to shut him up. If I thought he wanted to talk about anything else I’d be open to it but he doesn’t. He hasn’t said literally anything else to me in three months. And since neither of us is going to change our minds, I do have better ways to waste my time.” 

“Well what does that say?” Jefferson asked curiously. 

Madison skimmed it. “Basically he just wrote this informing me that he used to think my character was full of honesty and integrity but now he feels I’m more artificial than that. And he wonders if this is all your doing, if you somehow seduced me away from his side by the sheer force of your personality and my admiration for you.” 

“That’s five pages,” Jefferson said. 

Madison held one of the pages up. “Both sided.”

“Did he write that in the ten minutes since Washington told us to take a break?” 

Madison nodded. “I don’t see when else he could have written it. He just met you and he’s referring to some of the things you said. I’ll read the rest later.” 

“Why read it at all if you know what kind of garbage is in there?” Jefferson asked. 

“Trust me, it’s better to know what he’s saying about you than to not know.” 

“I mean, I literally don’t understand how he could write that so fast,” Jefferson said, shaking his head. 

“Burr has some theories on that,” Madison said. “And he wonders why everyone was always trying to make him their secretary during the war.” 

“Since he was going off on you during that whole tirade, why didn’t he mention your war record?” Jefferson wondered. “I mean, I had to literally flee from the British at one point.” 

“Well, I couldn’t help I was sick,” Madison said, shrugging. “Plus I didn’t bring the war up.” 

“But, wait, I want to get back to the part where you were behind Hamilton on all of this,” Jefferson said. “I’m going to need an explanation.” 

“It wasn’t the same thing,” Madison insisted. “Admittedly, back before the constitution, I did agree that centralizing the government and assuming states’ debts was a good plan for strengthening the union. I mean, you know what the articles of confederation were. I mean, they were a horror show. That’s why the two of us and some others quickly changed the topic from amending the articles to just burning them in a fire and starting fresh. And back then, it was a good plan. Now we have a working constitution and his plan is unconstitutional. It’s pretty simple.” 

“But he doesn’t think so?” 

“He’s caught up on ‘you agreed with me and now you’re wrong’,” Madison said. “The waters might be muddied by the fact that, again this is all pre-constitution, I helped look for loopholes that allowed a bank to be created under the articles of confederation. I knew the articles didn’t say anything about it but that it was an implied power. And he and I were both big supporters of Morris. But things change. Before we could claim a power that wasn’t listed and that was okay. Now the tenth amendment to the Bill of Rights, which may not yet be ratified but I hope to will eventually pass, explicitly says that all powers not granted to the federal government belong to the states.” 

“I mean, it does make sense,” Jefferson said. “I can’t say that I like the thought of a national bank at all but I suppose with the articles things were rather desperate. What did Hamilton say to that?” 

“Apparently I was at the constitutional convention and didn’t get banks thrown in there when I could,” Madison said. “Of course, neither did he but he didn’t plan for the tenth amendment. Apparently since I wrote the Bill of Rights I can’t just make up new rules then pretend my hands are tied. And…some other stuff, too, this being Hamilton, but that was the gist of it.” 

“One disagreement and he’s throwing mud,” Jefferson said, shaking his head. “That is no way to keep friends. That is no way to survive in politics.” 

“Well he’s never held any other office besides this,” Madison said. “And he doesn’t have to be elected to this position. He just needs Washington to like him. And everyone knows Washington practically adopted Hamilton. Whether Hamilton chooses to admit this or not. I think he’s planning on Washington staying in power forever and when he eventually dies he’ll figure something out. He’s not always a big actions and consequences kind of guy.” 

“Well, you did say he wanted a monarchy so that doesn’t surprise me,” Jefferson said. 

“An elected monarchy,” Madison corrected. 

“Yeah because that’s worked out so well for the Holy Roman Empire,” Jefferson said, snorting. “Okay, so Hamilton is an asshole who takes everything way too personally and burns all his bridges but Washington treats him like an embarrassing relation. Got it. But I just don’t understand you.” 

“Me?” 

“The very first thing you say to me, before you even say hello, is that you desperately need me to save us because we’re in a battle for the nation’s very soul. Those were your exact words. Battle for the nation’s very soul.” 

“I do remember that. It was less than half an hour ago,” Madison agreed. 

“And then the issue ended up being…the size of the government.” 

Madison crossed his arms and looked skeptically at him. “I’m sorry, are you trying to tell me that you don’t feel strongly about his?” 

“Of course I feel strongly about this. But you say battle for the nation’s soul you had me thinking this would be about slavery or rights or something like that. Something sexy.” 

Madison paused. “Okay, so when you say slavery is sexy are we talking about…?” 

“You know what I mean,” Jefferson said impatiently. 

“Sally?” 

Jefferson ignored that. “The size of the government is very important. States’ rights versus the kind of oversized government we just freed ourselves from. How does Hamilton not have a problem with this, by the way? The way I hear it, he was barely off the boat before he started trying to join up with the revolution.” 

“He thinks it would be different if it were our oversized government oppressing us,” Madison said. “And, to be fair, I can’t see Washington oppressing us. But he won’t be in charge forever. Maybe no one who remembers Britain’s tyranny would oppress us. But sooner or later people will forget. Sooner or later people born free won’t know any better and then they’ll be problems. I don’t mean to create problems for our children and grandchildren to shed blood trying to solve.” 

“I just don’t know if I’d call this issue, while important, part of the nation’s soul,” Jefferson said. “Especially because there I am, wowing everyone, and it turns out Hamilton doesn’t even have the votes. And he surely didn’t make any new friends with his random and unprovoked attack on me.” 

“No, that is true. Right now Hamilton doesn’t have the votes.” 

“Then why were you so worried? Did you not realize that he’s nowhere near Congressional approval?” Jefferson asked. 

“No, I knew.” 

“Then why?” Jefferson pressed. “You made it sound like he was on the verge of getting it approved.”

“Because he is.” 

Jefferson stared at him. “Okay, so I know I wasn’t actually at the constitutional convention but I did read the finished product. Am I missing something here? He doesn’t have the votes ergo he is not on the verge of getting it approved.” 

“Normally I’d agree with you, Thomas.” 

“Good. Because this is basic reality,” Jefferson said bluntly. 

“This is Hamilton, though.” 

“What difference does that make? He’s not a force of nature.” 

“That is exactly what he is,” Madison said grimly. “You barely know him. You don’t know.” 

“I don’t want to get to know him after that little performance.” 

“He will soon haunt your waking nightmares,” Madison promised. 

“I still don’t get this. Why are you acting like he’s such a threat? He clearly has no sense of tact and people don’t agree with him. Washington’s favorite or not, he needs to convince Congress.” 

“And if he were literally anyone else, I’d rest easy. But this is Alexander Hamilton.” 

“You realize that means literally nothing to me, right?” Jefferson asked. 

“You know how I teamed up with him Hamilton and Jay to write the Federalist papers?” Madison asked rhetorically. 

Jefferson nodded. “I do and they are brilliant. But that doesn’t mean I have to like the guy. I never said he was stupid. And he might be a decent ally if he weren’t so obnoxious and wrong about everything.” 

“Well, we were only going to write twenty-five originally and divide them up evenly,” Madison said. 

“Stupid question but how do you divide twenty-five by three?” 

“Hamilton offered to write nine,” Madison said. “Jay got sick and only ended up being able to write five. That was only three less than he was supposed to anyway so it wasn’t that big of a deal. Hamilton told him that was no way to be remembered by history but he didn’t really mind.” 

Jefferson stared at him. “Who even says things like that?” 

Madison shrugged. “Hamilton came from nothing which is why I think he’s a bit obsessed with creating a legacy.” 

“Do I need to start worrying about Hamilton’s candidacy?” Jefferson demanded. 

“I don’t know. He never said anything about that to me,” Madison said. “But, again, I think he intends for Washington to die in office so we don’t have to worry about that anytime soon. Even if Washington keeps threatening to step down, I don’t think he’ll really do it. Not just yet anyway.” 

Jefferson groaned. “Great. Just great.” 

“I do know that Hamilton wants his picture on the money,” Madison offered. “I mean, that’s not exactly the same thing.” 

“James, kings and queens are the kinds of people that have their picture on money,” Jefferson said, horrified. 

“I did tell him that,” Madison said. “He just rolled his eyes and said ‘Fine, just put me on one of them then.’” 

“The man is a monarchist,” Jefferson complained. “Dear God, a monarchist is helping to shape the beginning of our decidedly republican nation.” 

“We already knew that,” Madison said. “I told you about the alternative form of government he proposed at the constitutional convention, right?” 

“You did,” Jefferson agreed. “I’m pretty sure the convention was supposed to be confidential, though, so people could say what they really thought.” 

“You and I are friends, though. Is that not confidential? It’s different than telling the world,” Madison claimed. 

“You did that, too, though.” 

“In retrospect, there may be another reason Hamilton is annoyed at me,” Madison conceded. “Not that there’s anything to be done for that now.” 

“But you were talking about the Federalist papers,” Jefferson reminded him. “Jay got sick and Hamilton is the worst.” 

“I’m not sure that’s what I said,” Madison protested. 

“Maybe not but it is true so that’s a fair summary,” Jefferson said. 

“Well, Hamilton mentioned to me that twenty-five was just a number. We needed to give it the strongest defense that we could, especially with those Anti-Federalist papers starting up. Not that they were all that organized. We didn’t want the constitution to fail just because we didn’t work hard enough. I agreed and I ran myself ragged writing twenty-nine. Hamilton wrote-”

“The other fifty-one, I know. The man likes to write.” 

“Not that he’d ever admit it,” Madison said, shaking his head. “I don’t think you understand. I was in a room with him one time when we were writing and had written two paragraphs by the time I came back in after having relieved myself. And do not even make that joke, Thomas.” 

“I have no idea what you mean,” Jefferson said innocently. “So. Hamilton is very good at writing. He can write a lot and he can write very fast. He will probably annoy everyone about this plan of his until someone does us all a favor and finally shoots him. Is that really what you’re so afraid of? Because I’ve met persistent people before.” 

“Not like this.” 

“Even granting that. He can write all he likes, he won’t be able to force us to vote for him,” Jefferson said. “And the more he bothers us the less likely most people are to want anything to do with it or him and it will only hurt his cause in the future.” 

“You say that now.” 

“It’s basic human nature,” Jefferson said. “I am an expert on human nature if I do say so myself.” 

“He’s Hamilton,” Madison said simply. “He doesn’t always get everything he wants but I’ve never seen him fail, not when it really matters.” 

“What about with that whole president-for-life nonsense?” Jefferson asked. 

“His goal was a constitution. He didn’t want a bill of rights but he’ll live with it. And now he wants this bank. This debt. And a very large part of me can’t help but feel like he’s going to get it.” 

“He won’t,” Jefferson said. “We’ll make sure of it.” 

“I hope you’re right,” Madison said, sounding far from certain. 

Jefferson would have responded but he was hit in the head with a paper glider comprised of three pages with very small writing on both sides. It began ‘And another thing, when you talk about liberty…’ 

He looked over at Madison. “Hamilton?” 

“Hamilton.” 

“I came back from France for this?”


End file.
